---
title: "Some Reading in My Solo Trip in Mexico"
description: "When we go solo, we go deep."
url: "https://blog.gatsbydai.com/some-reading-in-my-solo-trip-in-mexico-"
published: "2023-10-07T19:03:00Z"
updated: "2023-10-23T23:52:21Z"
authors: ["Xiaojun Dai"]
---

# Some Reading in My Solo Trip in Mexico

When we go solo, we go deep.

![A coffee corner in Mexico City](https://blog.gatsbydai.com/assets/uploads/9220c8a7b9eefcd122c5e1cb1d5a5ae8.png)

I was reading Robert Bly's "The Little Book on the Human Shadow" again, during my travels in a male-dominate culture. I think of two perspectives: the presence of the Shadow in a collective context and how culture shapes our outward expression.

“Every part of our personality that we do not love will become hostile to us.” Furthermore, I want to add that these parts are easily and unconsciously projected onto others.

In America, and in most cultures, vulnerability has been relegated to the shadows, especially among men, maintaining an unemotional demeanor is associated with masculinity. The “unattractive” traits of being needy, weak, emotional, attached, anxious, dependent, scared, incompetent, unwanted … “feel” unbearable.

The challenge is that these parts cannot simply vanish; they are fundamental aspects of our shared human experience, transcending gender and culture.

When we can’t integrate within, we project out, so we contempt those we perceive as “weak.” (for example, bullies.)