Some quotes from Almaas’ Work on The Superego: “… the external coercive agencies become internalized … In other words, the child psychically takes in parental demands, and they become his or her own … The resulting inner coercive agency is what Freud called the superego … It becomes the inner regulating agency, containing one’s adopted and developed moral codes and standards of being and action.” (A.H. Almaas, 1992)

This concept is rooted in Freud's Structural Theory, which divides the psyche into three parts: the id, the superego, and the ego.  

Side note:

The word "psyche" originates from Greek and it means breath. Here is a simple way to understand these three words and their relations: 

  • id: sex drive, pleasure & aggression (the child) 
  • superego: right & wrong, good & bad (the judge, the adult, the higher self) 
  • ego: the coordination between the first two (the parent)

According to Freud, the superego develops during early childhood through internalizing parental and societal standards. This happens as the child navigates the world and learns what behaviors are acceptable or unacceptable, essentially absorbing the values and morals imposed by their caregivers.

If an infant’s needs aren’t met or, at the other extreme, are smothered (both physically and emotionally), they will shape into our “conditioned” self, or what we call defense mechanisms. These are the parts approved by the caregivers, along with the disowned parts suppressing themselves. The infant will eventually internalize the caregiver's values (introjected voice) and take in the parental needs. Sadly, these needs will eventually become their own. Freud called these introjected voices the “superego.”

The superego is very easy to observe in romantic relationships. Most relationships are the game of two “superegos.” True love happens when the superego starts to crack and vulnerability starts to kick in. Couple counselors’ work is to help each other see how their superegos entangle and act out, and hopefully, they see each other as they are underneath the superegos.

Ironically, when the superego begins to collapse, it often triggers tremendous anxiety. Spirituality often comes in when the superego starts to crack – most of the time, showing up in grieving. That’s also why most people have these kinds of “aha” moments after hitting “rock bottom” or experiencing a significant psychedelic journey.